Why I Hate Fridays

30.8.’14

The part why I stress.

Maybe it’s just me trying to escape the problems in my real home here, or me trying to find the better confinement and company. Or me trying not to be alone like I am today.

Three weeks of ‘school’ have passed and somehow I find my feet involuntarily walking back to LB. Maybe it’s just my three-month vacation sickness filling that craving. Or not.

It’s not the actual ‘studying’ that I miss and want right now, I actually hate that part lately. How I remembered not attending my first ever subject (because I was ill) and not attending morning subjects (because I was lazy). Another reminder to me right now to set my priorities straight. Acad load right now isn’t that heavy, it actually is light but really time-consuming.

It’s also not the ‘things I have to do’ that I miss and want right now. Nope, I didn’t want to be a head of logistics and publicity in my two affiliations. But I managed. And I will manage.

The part why I like weekdays.

Monday nights until Friday afternoons are my daily LB existence. And in that existential part is what I love, excluding the part I said above.

Cue clinginess.

It may be my 60 other orgmates or my 10+ other Perspective guyth or my devcom hi’s and goodbye’s people or my PSS peeps or my bestie roomies housemates.

I don’t know, but I like just being there. I want to hang out at CHE lobby just thinking and killing time and trying hard to connect to ‘UPLB’ wifi, socializing physically and online at the same time. I like being in the [P] office even though it’s hot and butt-hurting, just laughing and ‘meeting’, and talak satisfies that rant crave. I like being in devcom series classes where almost all my recit classmates are the same people, I like being bibo and kwela and not actually doing articles or recording voice or learning systems or scientific papers, but rather making chika and daldal to everyone I’ll be with for the next two more years. I like being with those high school peeps I never get bored at, they keep that nostalgic thread firm and unbreakable. They’re one of those people who you can differentiate from then to now; these are the people you had a foundation, need not worrying about trust issues. And finally are the housemates, one I like slapping in the face, one who is barely evicted, one who rarely goes home at sunlight, one who is in a high school hormonal rage, and one antagonist who likes burrito.

These housemates who I hate and care, are the real reason why I hate fridays, they may not look like it, but some of them are people I’ve been friends with only since the first sem, some only since July, or only on April. I like being called Senpai because of my sole, actual, and real Sophomore standing. I like back massages and face massages with consumable hours. I like clingy texts and pagsusuyo. But I don’t like paying rent.

The real part why I hate Fridays.

I don’t like going home at 4 PM on Friday, dreading your arrival by the end of your 5:30 class, because I know that we have to pack things to go home (or wash the fishbowl and put 2-day worth of fish feed). Then by the time we have eaten dinner I don’t like knowing that we have to actually walk to junction because full jeepneys can’t hold us all together. I don’t like separating at all. You guys riding a Cubao bus while I sadly have to go alone and wait for an Alabang bus. I’ll send texts as soon as I got in the bus, trying to hold my existence existential to everyone. It’s what I hate: having to know that it ends at Fridays and starts on Mondays again. And as I write, I want to be back.

It’s like having to pause a game because you have to.

personal   journal   clingy   



Main Lib

Main Lib

uplb   photo   



'Katahimikan'

May mga bagay na sadyang pinagsisihan natin ‘pag nalaman natin. Isa na rin sigurong downfall ng pagiging tao natin: disappointment dahil sa curiosity. Pa’no kung mga hayop nalang tayo; mga insekto’t ibong malaya sumusunod lang sa agos, parang yung sa food cycle at food web (yum yum haha), monotonous kumbaga. Hindi naghahangad ng pagbabago, hindi nagrarason, hindi nanggulo sa pagalam  sa sagot sa bakit at paano.

Napaisip ako. Sila siguro ang tunay na malaya. Tayo ang nakakulong sa hawla, binubuhay ang buhay din natin. ‘Eto ang takda natin eh. Ang magtanong, maghanap, at magtanto.

Ginawa ko ‘yung video dahil ‘eto ‘yung mga oras na nag-iisip ako pero napapatigil nalang ako’t napapatulala sa kalikasan. ‘Yung pakiramdam na malaya ka na sa katahimikan ng pag-iisip at pakikinig nalang ang inaatupag, parang ibang hayop. Parang sa meditasyon, pakikinig lang at walang iniisip na iba. Hinding hindi matatahimik ang paligid, pero ang sarili natatahimik.

video   art   sining serya   videography   



I’m no out-of-school youth

22.7.’14

Hihi. The vacation feels took a bit longer than expected, but despite having to wait for the oh-so-awaited August 11 start of classes, I had been bombarded by tasks instead!

  1. 1 of 4 articles I have accomplished and I think it’s the deadline already but I see no buggers, and I feel bad. Nyerk. Aside from gathering data and writing assignments, the off weather seems to push deadlines further and further. Oh well, I got the data anyway, creative juices nalang and the actual writing.
  2. Photoshop skills lvl 9999. On the other hand, the commitment in my org in the publicity committee took an early job for me, assigning me to create birthday pubmats for the month, which are very tedious (and requires a lot of creativity) to do.
  3. As I called it back in May, Operation Balik Alindog! Haha, for starters and lay people, it’s a simple diet-exercise attempt, and I’m too lazy like today sitting in front of the desktop, instead of being in the gym (and my month’s subscription’s nearing). Iyak na ‘ko, I need to be fit soon.
  4. Student Media Congress. It will happen on Friday and Saturday at DLSU, and I am stoked. I love workshops and talks, especially with this being related to my course, things I’m interested in. And the added competition just adds to the excitement! I enrolled in a competing workshop on Photojournalism. Honestly, part of me is motivated in case I grab a prize, but half of it is actually getting my camera a good use, somehow lessons on photography for the first time without Youtube tutorials and self-study. And, it’s for school pub purpose. Aside from the Photojournalism workshop, I got technical workshops on contemporary visual culture (the arts is love) and media ethics (course application).

With the thought of school coming, it just gets me turned on. Whut? No people would ask me why I’m not in school, oh come on. No more lazy couch potato, no video games.

August, I can almost touch you. So much things to look forward to!

  1. I already want to stay on that apartment, that up-and-down empty space with lb friends, and we’ll fill it up with actual ‘house stuff’ once we get our hands on money, together of course. No more one-room dorm horror, with a curfew everyone hates and 8-men-in-one-room mess, an actual tornado of what a stereotypical ‘boy’ messy room is. No more mountain 15-minute walks to the dorm, but an apartment with actual civilization.
  2. Classes! Sophomore year is majors year, not really fun because acads, but look, maybe it’s time to actually make friends with coursemates that I failed to do obviously, last academic year. And hello, Street Jazz PE! It was all in the plan of us high school-college buddies to be classmates on this gut-filled, hyped PE class!
  3. 4-month long lost people. The actual people you haven’t seen for what felt like a decade! (Clingy) Think of the vacation stories everyone will talk about… (Umm, sitting all day, etc) Think of the new ‘them’ along with new looks, new bodies, new personalities.
  4. The actual university! Despite the FB pictures of the bald-shaven trees in UPLB, I badly miss my home 5 days a week. And realizing I’m already a sophomore, three years (sana) of college left, I couldn’t just want more but to cherish and love the place I will come back to again and again.

In the present, I could do nothing but to wait.

blogged   personal   smc